


Getting Back to Okay

by XionKuriyama



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Angst, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Gen, KH3 spoilers, One Shot, Past Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, maybe i'll expand this, post-kh3, some rokushi if you squint, we'll see how inspired i am
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-12
Updated: 2019-02-12
Packaged: 2019-10-26 18:48:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17751446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XionKuriyama/pseuds/XionKuriyama
Summary: WARNING: MAJOR ENDGAME SPOILERS FOR KINGDOM HEARTS III.----An old bully is back in Xion's life, somehow. She now needs to come to grips with her old abuser being present not just in her world, but on her clocktower.





	Getting Back to Okay

**Author's Note:**

> KH3 is an interesting beast. It has both the best and the worst moments in the series, in my opinion. One thing I didn't like was how all the villains magically got redeemed at the end, like nothing had ever happened. It was particularly egregious when Isa, Xion's abuser for a whole 20 hour game of nothing but pain and suffering, just strolls onto the clocktower at the end like "We're friends now" and Xion is just "ok i believe you!" As someone who has been abused, I couldn't let that stand, and that's why I wrote this. I hope you enjoy it.
> 
> DISCLAIMER: Kingdom Hearts belongs to Disney and Square Enix. I do not stand to profit from this work in any way.

Isa was not to speak with Xion. Not Roxas, either, but  _ especially  _ not Xion. If the clocktower was on fire, well, it would have to go through Axel, then. That was the conditions of his presence on that ledge.

This was put in place not only on Xion’s word, but also on Axel’s. After all, there was a good chance someone would be getting shoved off that tower if they interacted for more than five seconds.

Even with those terms, Xion still felt her entire body physically drop every time Isa dared show his face near her. It didn’t happen often, but when it did, her mood took a deep dive right into the void. She still fully expected to get berated and called a useless puppet. And it was only made worse by the fact that he was now somehow allowed to invade  _ her  _ space—the one place she had ever felt safe during those days in the Organization.

In fact, the first time he came to that tower, she personally pulled Axel aside to protest. It was that point in the evening where the sun hit the tower perfectly straight-on, which meant plenty of shadow in the back, on the east side. Despite being maybe half of Axel’s height, she still managed to look him in the eyes.

Her own eyes had the smallest hint of betrayal in them. Just a small amount, not overwhelming. After all, she had grown used to disappointment.

“Really?” she said, matter-of-factly.

Axel put a hand in his pocket and looked away from Xion. “I know.”

“I can’t handle him.”

Axel paused. “…And do you think  _ I  _ asked him to come to our spot?”

Xion let out a breath, forcing herself to calm down. “No… but he came for you. Who else would he come for? He sure didn’t come for me. At least, I hope not.”

“He did come for me, yes,” Axel said, scratching his neck with one hand just like he used to.

“Can you tell him to go away?”

Axel fell completely silent. Xion kept up her look of disappointment. In fact, it got a little stronger as she recognized the hesitation in him.

After a moment that Xion found far too long, Axel finally answered. “I’ll talk to him. Later.”

“All right.” Xion sighed. “I’m… I’m going home. I was full after dinner, anyway.”

She left without giving Axel a chance to respond to that.

 

 

 

Xion woke up in a cold sweat, but she didn’t scream. She didn’t cry, she didn’t flail around. She just laid there, feeling that sweat drip down her forehead. She may have done these things the first few times Saix made up some excuse to go off on her, but after enough times, she figured out that it was less strenuous to just let him wear himself out. On a good day, she would let it slide off her back.

_ But Saix isn’t here,  _ she thought as her mind caught up with reality.  _ That must have been a dream. _

_ …It’s Isa now, isn’t it? Whatever. _

She sat up and dabbed her forehead with the blanket, like it was a big towel. She looked around her room. It was painted sea-salt blue, but it was so minimalist, so free of any decoration or personal touch, that it looked almost identical to her old room in the dark, minus the window—it was a normal square here, rather than the Organization symbol of her old room. It occurred to her that she didn’t really know what to even put in this room, besides the bare essentials.

It wasn’t just her dreams where the shadow of the Organization still haunted her,  it seemed.

Water. She was thirsty, that would distract her. She could just get some water.

She pulled herself out of bed and started making her way out into the hall and towards the kitchen. She lived with Axel and Roxas now, in one happy trio. Well, ‘happy’ might have been a strong word. Maybe just relieved. Relieved to be together again, now without anyone to boss them around.

It was a small house, just big enough for all three of them to be comfortable. It was a quick trek from her room to the kitchen and the sink. As she pulled out a glass, she heard a familiar voice behind her, a boy’s voice. “Xion?”

She turned, a small smile crossing her face. “Hello, Roxas. What are you doing up…?”

“Oh, I… couldn’t sleep,” he said.

Xion chose to believe that, even though she figured there was more to it. After all, she’d probably say the same if asked. “Well, I’m just thirsty,” she said.

“...Are you all right?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

“You just seem a little…” Roxas clasped his hands together behind his head awkwardly. “Sad…? Yeah, we’ll go with sad.”

Xion kept up her false smile as she filled her water glass. “Well, my secret is that I’m always sad, isn’t it?”

“Don’t say that…”

Xion shook her head, taking a sip from the glass now. “You don’t need to worry about me, Roxas.”

“Well… even if I don’t need to, I do. That’s what friends are for, right?”

“...Right.” Xion pursed her lips and looked Roxas in the eyes. “It’s Saix.”

“I kinda figured,” Roxas said. “I kind of wanted to scream at him for daring to show his face to us, but… I didn’t want to make things worse. Besides, who has the energy for that?”

“Right?” Xion looked out the window, at the direct view of the clocktower this house gave her. Moonlight glistened off the bells, helping to illuminate the town below and direct the moonbeams into the window. “I don’t think Axel knows what to do with him.”

“Yeah,” Roxas said. “He really doesn’t.”

“I mean, he should know what to do with him. Tell him to go away.”

Roxas paused. “...I think he’s just sick of arguing with him.”

Xion opened her mouth… but then closed it again. “Well… who wouldn’t be, huh?”

The two of them let that hang in the air for a bit, content in allowing it to speak for itself. Xion felt something welled up in her, anger and indignation left unspoken. Words unsaid for a year, then forgotten, to be left unspoken for what Xion had thought would be forever.

Perhaps it would be forever, after all. She didn’t have the emotional energy to face Saix-- _ Isa? No, Saix.  _ It just wasn’t in her anymore. Not after everything--that year with the Organization, however long she was forgotten, the final battle, losing the boy she had given up her own existence to let live.

Maybe she could find a new meeting spot. Maybe she could just stay in the house for… however long it would take to repair herself.

_ But then I might be in this house for the rest of my life,  _ she thought. And she could feel deep in her heart that the next time she would leave this existence, whenever it would be, would be the last time. Did she really want to squander it hiding away from Saix?

Facing him. Running from him. Accepting him. All seemed unacceptable. And yet…

“Xion?"

She turned to Roxas again. “Hm?”

Roxas was closer now. “Are you crying…?”

Xion lifted a hand to her cheek, and felt a couple of small drops of salty water. “...I guess I was. But… I’ll be okay.”

Because she was always okay. Even after the most complete and total destruction possible, she was somehow okay.

A bully of the past wouldn’t stop her. No matter what.


End file.
